Day 100: Little Miss BlackberryIn the scheme of things today is a cycle of life from sunrise to sunset, what we define as a day. In the world of innocence and wonder a unique coagulation of energy and atoms that only exist in the moment but in the world of order and definition this is the last day of June and the last day of my 100 Days Of Awe project. I make up it has a poignancy to it, a bitter sweetness as pleasure slips into the past, that there has to be a culmination, a pinnacle, an apex, a crescendo. What I am making up creates tension; the need to capture an extra special moment as a fitting finale for this little project, the mental orchestration of classifying my moments of awe on some sort of scale, I am caught in a trap, putting the squeeze on myself. I observe that where I am is diametrically opposed to what this project is about. The project is about awe and wonder, an exploration of the multi-dimensional prism of my innocence and about revelling in each hermetically sealed bubble of the elixir of Now. It is not about capturing something that is better or worse or about going somewhere different or displaying some new knowledge. It is just a beautiful excuse to be fully present in the moment, to flex the muscle of surrender to just be.
Today was a day like many of my days on this journey; hunkered down at home, whittling away at my creations, focusing on the gentle extrapolation of the path to my end results. Like a hound sniffing a scent there is something about getting ‘a job’, about putting structures in place to support my heart, it is a tightrope walk between seeing myself beholden to some authority outside myself and choosing to work because service is embedded in my Nirvana. I know I will know it when it comes along, but until then I have to just keep sniffing my way, calibrating the long list of Gumtree and jobsite offerings against an inner compass.* It is a task that triggers my anxiety, so many jobs, too little time and my day can so easily leak away into the void of the internet sucking the heart right out of me. Against that suction I choose to take myself away to that place that has been a font of aweness on this journey; Wormwood Scrubs – a hole in the fabric of this city that allows in the drafty breathe of the heavens. Moment after awesome moment unfold, which one to choose? In the end I am drawn into the upturned innocence of this spunky budding blackberry and my imaginary world of anthromorphisation that shakes me loose of the clay of shoulds and supposed tos. A beautiful pink and green moment of magic and I have an album of shots as a beautiful encore to this blog project too.
* Just a few days later I am offered a door to door canvasing job to sell organic box subscriptions for Able &Cole. I am apprehensive, it is 100% commission, it is alot of leg work, I normally do not have the heart for sales. But I love organic food, I am excited about a company that has a Zen room for Mindfulness practise and hammocks in the garden – who have a garden for goodness sake. I am on the tightrope; my heart sings while my ego frets about my capabilities.
100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect. I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort. I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.
Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business. She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you or your business please do contact me. I support clients all over the world.